Monthly Archives: August 2011

Driving me mad

This week was supposed to be an extremely slack week- but then it was damn roller coaster and damn tiring for me to go through -.-
Results were out every single day and I swear it breaks my heart any minute for Percentiles 2 & 6, honestly I had never seen a single digit in my report card before and now I get two at once. Wow.
But I’m not complaining even though I mugged like a bloody shit for these two subjects I got single digit percentiles for. It reflects my true ability, at least. Time to really look at what I’ve been studying wrongly now -.- And work even harder. Isn’t that the most I can do now?
I don’t know how to make a proper update here because there is technically nothing significant that went on this week besides sadness, depression and (boring) HSK lecture? And waking up to panicking… having to rush my homework in the weekday mornings -.- But my mood had been ruined these few nights. Thanks for ruining my mood during act today too. -.- And it just happens to be the last.
Feel so bloody misunderstood and accused. When honestly, I felt like I haven’t done anything wrong at all. And I actually meant well. Never mind it’s okay, I always go unappreciated anyway. Expected this from the very start haven’t I? Thanks a lot arh, seriously, thanks a lot. You just made me show a side of myself I have never seen before.
Off-topic:
Happy Birthday Ling Sheng &
Happy Belated Birthday Kay Vin 🙂
I’ll work on both your birthday stuff this weekend :))
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Math Test (again)

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But hahaha, this time I’m no longer whining.
Oh well, I prepared myself for the worst (I was really really wishing I would get 9/30- I was afraid I would get no method marks at all) And I actually got 14/30! I was never contented with passing but I guess this time’s an exception 🙂
Thank god Mrs Lai dug up that 1 mark from that lame equation that I subbed in LOL I just anyhow write things then keep writing in hope of getting method marks.
OH WELL, at least I got 1 out of 6 marks for that question even though I didn’t know how to do at all LOL.
Omg I was so damn high this afternoon I swear after getting back Math Test- I don’t know why. But seriously I was so damn satisfied. Even though I had been getting consistent full marks last year, the shitty chain of failing Math this term is enough to make me go :(((( and be contented with just a pass 😦 But of course I must higher my expectations for myself! I can’t be at this standard forever -.- C6 on report card is just…
Next test must full marks, I swear. I have the entire September holidays to do so!! (apart from SSC, I guess) Gonna mug and practise Trigo like hell. Sigh how on Earth am I gonna let my parents look at my report card :/
& surprisingly, I’m starting to understand Pressure 😀 Studied slightly in Geog today. Must continue studying!!!!
Oh well things are starting to look bright. For me, at least. With effort comes rewards, HOPEFULLY!
Ought to motivate myself to pull up these grades- just this term alone:
6/10 for Phy Quiz,
14/30 for Math test,
16/30 for previous Math test,
15/40 for Phy (totally cried like a waterfall- but what for? Not like I didn’t expect it either- bloody asshole just wasting my tears on shit that can’t be changed),
5/12 (for Math PAT but oh well not graded, thank god.)
Ohmanz, I already totally lost my exemption so I’m not even caring about that shit now. Broke my promise the start of the year but it’s not like I didn’t work hard.. :/ So I’m not whining too much. Just hope my Math won’t be pulled down too badly, let’s hope my semester 1’s marks will save me yea? 🙂

I want to time travel.

I have some time on my hands right now because I slept in the afternoon- and look it’s the end of the major tests 😀 So I’ll probably have some time to spare stalking people, and revisiting everything that I wasn’t able to accomplish the past few weeks.

I guess it’s me every single Term 3- panicking. Not that I’m working towards exemption, but it seems to be the one that’s actually driving me insane. The past terms I had been blessed with pretty nice grades despite my lack of attention during class- and what’s more the lack of sleep. It’s not that I’m lazier this term, but probably lady luck is no longer on my side anymore? If I don’t work hard to get what I want, I’ll probably never get it.
There’s a reason why I got 16/30 for my last Math test. And probably an even lower score for the one I just did today. Le sigh, whatever happened to my Math? It used to be my strongest subject. Now I live in fear of it pulling all my grades down. Afterall, my script was once always at the bottom of the classes’ (i.e. one of the high scorers). In fact, those memories were just a year ago. I was changing between ring file and the standard file for the Y2 and Y3 Math notes, and I realised how drastically I dropped in Math. I used to whine about getting percentile 94 for Math. Now? I’m not even at the average level. The really large change in standards.
Maybe I had just turned complacent. Maybe. But what’s really happening…? I don’t really know myself. Despite intensive practice… and a major lack of sleep, I can never attain the same standards again. What am I to do? I don’t even know if I have the talent for the subject anymore.
I really don’t want to flunk anymore tests. I’ve done so badly this term it’s not even a joke to begin with- it seems rather decent to actually attain a PASS for all my tests that I’ve done (except Chemistry- which I worked very hard for 2 weeks straight of burning midnight oil). Now that was some effort I put in. But what if I don’t do well for it too? Please bless me, I’ve been working very hard this term. But why are my results seemingly inversely proportionate to my efforts put in? That in itself is mind-boggling.
But what can I do? I can only work harder. And hope for things to get better.
Saw this note by Snr Shirleen that was given us during ROD ’09 some time ago. It didn’t matter to me at all, in the past. But now I realise there are so many interpretations I could have made from that note. Maybe I could have had better past years, and perhaps I might be in a better situation now. It really sucks when all your regrets start flowing through your mind but you realise there’s nothing you can do to change them anymore.
If only it was all just a dream.
Oh well. Nevermind, thinking positively, it’s the end of all my major tests. Without my family at home making unnecessary noises and being annoying, it really sets me thinking. Sometimes it really sucks to be left alone eh. But somehow, I like the feeling. The independent thoughts that I can make. At least I know there’s still a soul within me.

New Blogskin?

Kay for every blogskin, you get sick of it someday yea 😛

And LOL, was creating my private blog for my specialist life when I chanced upon prettier simple layouts that would probably be more interesting for a while~

So yeah till then goodbye to my blogskin 😀
From now on I MUST do AAR every single act! No matter how tired I am. On the private blog, of course.
Sigh, typed out a whole load of things and realised there are so many things I must improve on.
Nevermind it’s only the first act. But I must improve every single time. Do my best to improve the standards. Work hard to maintain our awesome unit reputation 🙂
JIAYOU HUIPING YOU CAN DO IT. And at the same time, improve my horrible physical standard -.-

Long National Day holiday

Lol it’s ok I promised zzz.

Anyway whooo haven’t blogged in a while, and since I’m feeling free today after my screwed up Physics test I shall blog for a bit~ 😀

Nat Day Holidays were totally awesumz but duhh too short 😦 And so many things happened in between? National Day Parade (schbased & singapore), POP. Okay mostly NCC-related, AGAIN? 🙂 Okay so it started with school-based NDP?

Actually surviving quite a few parades- this parade was surprisingly chicken 😛 and very very few people fall out compared to last year- or no one at all? like totally no one see anyone faint or anything which is damn awesome. HAHAHA.

But the trainings for this NDP were crazy and I haven’t enjoyed most of them sooo ._. at least it’s over now! And that day wasn’t allowed to wear transition specs coz not allowed in parade so I went without specs- and my my my I LOOK LIKE AN ANGRY TROLL HAHAHA.

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I’m hidden behind don’t bother spotting me 😀

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I look damn angry without specs but my alignment + badges + beret + armswing + shoes everything damn nice so I like this picture HAHAHA

After parade we were damn high, then went around spazzing taking pictures then went hall to sit 😛

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We were taking then everyone was like “GO HOME SET PROFILE PICTURE AH PROFILE PICTURE” then after we came home… we realised Jieling’s not inside 😛

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Heh girls company picture 🙂 Without Jieling, again.. Where on earth did she go o.o

NCC dominate the whole last row of benches in the hall because we were not suppsoed to change out (POP afterwards) henceee we had to sit on benches because our uniform (Skirt) cannot sit on floor HAHAHA! Talk about shuang! But this year NDP celebration really damn sian 😐 People might think I zham-ming them but seriously la constructive criticism ftw yeah. The external vendors + We Are Singaporeans quiz thing is really…. yawnz LOL.

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Waiting for the quiz -_-

Took pictures with Maam Feei & Sgt Shirleeen!!! But Yixin haven’t upload so only got the polaroid. Okay senior deactivated her Facebook so I can’t save the polaroid picture now -_- But omg it’s seriously damn pretty and I miss them so much 😦

After the whole celebration we had 40minutes and we went around koping food (GOT SOME FOOD BY 3L CID TEACHER WHEN we went staff room hand in Chem assignment hahaha) and we were dead hungry D: The chocolate thing was damn nice but holy shat it dripped on my shirt ._.

Fell in in the hot afternoon sun and my KIWI MELTED ON MY SHOES 😦 Then my shoes become dull omfg damn depressing please. Then from equivalent to Chenxi, I became like some shit beside Chenxi 😦 GONNA POLISH AGAIN I SWEAR. SOMEDAY 😛 Had some rehearsals for POP…

Then it was POP soon after the guys were done + the AYLC people came back from their tests. It felt so surreal.. and erm I can’t believe we took over just like that? A bit too abrupt, a bit too… sudden? I don’t know.. they kept asking us how we felt but seriously I really :\ Haiz I can’t believe it’s so soon seriously.

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The whole process of the POP felt damn short but then it’s damn.. idk. I didn’t feel anything during the POP but the formality of it just makes everything… omg. Mindblowing? IDK 😦 And I didn’t untag any of the pictures even though I was damn unglam beacuse I wanted to keep it as a memory…? THAT moment :\ Sigh time passes too quickly for us..

We’re approaching our last year. No, we only have one more year to go. Together. 😦

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Now it’s our unit :\

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Company cheer~ 🙂

Talk with the part Bs a while then after that we had talk by Staff and the specialists, took many unglam shots WHICH I’M NOT GONNA POST UP and then Jieling & I went to MINDEF to collect NDP tixes :p OMG luckily I brought my i/c that day, usually I don’t even bring my i/c to things but I thought might need so I bring. Or else I can’t even enter the place whoo! Thank god~

Went home afterwards to get nagged at -_- Sigh go out take tickets a while only 😦

THEN IT WAS NDP!

Met with Jieling at kiasuly 2.45pm to buy our shirts for the day (didn’t buy red in the end- phew or else we might look like red packetS) and then train down to City Hall hahaha. Seriously didn’t know where to walk.. just kept following the crowd and eventually we reached this place with all the metal detectors and everything LOL. Damn organised and cool (Y)

AND THE FUNPACK I got Merlion! Jieling got the Orchid hahaha and it was damn heavy. Saw the H2o dispenser? Omg it’s damn cool :DDD And it looks damn cool this year lor.

BUT THE MOMENT WE ENTERED OUR SEATS AT 3PM+ WE STARTED BURNING AND MELTING UNDER THE HOT SUN OMG. Somemore green sector was the furthest from the entrance, the walking already start to make us perspire and when we sat under the sun… @#%@#^#& QUICKLY TIED OUR HAIR LOL.

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Wiped our perspiration like crazy before taking this shot- we were so damn hot sweat patches were forming on our shirts D:

Then just stoned, ate bread (and people asked where we got our bread from) until the parade started hahaha. Ooh and we kept sending in messages to 73111 to get our messages up there etc. damn epic! And we ask the “polaroid guy” help us take picture LOL Jieling buyaolian and “EXCUSE ME!!!!” damn loudly then.. he said he left 3 films. Then at the count of 1 2 3 we raise damn highhh!!! and damn fast LOL training from the quiz the day before (Y) So we could be one of the 3 remaining films ^^

THEN WE MANAGED TO TAKE A POLAROID SHOT HAHAHA

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Omg damn chio ^^ Jieling you better take care of it well!!!

Anyway the parade started with some mass display which I wasn’t really paying attention to… UNTIL MARCHING CONTINGENT (Y) we were damn excited and counting down to 6.49pm LOLOLOL And I saw so many people! Kailun, Huimin, Weihan, Yixin… ok no one else actually ._. I can’t recognise. And Jieling saw the yellow lanyard I think? 😀 Was busy spotting people hahaha. And when President go pass, LOL wave flag damn epic ^^ But hehehe the armswing not perfect but at least prettier than the contingent in front? :X And girlguides armswing damn nice!!! Seriously LOL.

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Camwhoring with lightsticks, NOT MY IDEA LOL. & Lol @ light blue 😀

Then the parade RSM voice is like O_O A BIT NOT HIGH HAHAHA. And then we just kept looking out for the armswings, belok etc and keep arrowing, never follow tape never etc etc hahaha. Omg damn fun lor.

Marching contingent go pass liao then I sian-ed already, omg all the performances sorta put me to sleep sorry ._. I know they’re supposed to be entertaining but what’s with the mother & son, so cliche and gives me the creeps omg. But the dimsum bao was cool THOUGH LOLOLOL

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The stuff that sorta put me to sleep 😡

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HAHAHA Omg Jieling I heard you’re hungry ^^

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THE LIT UP BAOZ LOL

Okay parade ended off with fireworks 😀 couldn’t take a picture with it LOL not bu yao lian enough 😀

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AT LEAST I managed to capture something nice 😛

Then we stoned around for a while and continued sending in messages to the big screen and mine APPEARED!!!!! I WROTE “Great job marching contingent, RVNCC (L)” THEN IT APPEARED ON THE SCREEN OMG AWESOME LIKE WHAT 😀 And it was seen by others too which makes it even more cool 😀

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Camwhoring one last time with the empty place before leaving lolol

Went home with Huimin afterwards and I dropped my phone for the 3rd time omg 😦 Okay that’s not the point. Went home to celebrate my bro’s birthday… Ice cream cake which made me have a tummy upset the whole night LOL. Twinberry cheesecake ice cream was nice though 🙂

AND I CUT MY HAIR YESTERDAY! NOW is damn short at like shoulder length. Still can tie but it looks like a short bob and freaking small. Wah I don’t like 😦 I MISS MY LONG HAIR SIGH. K I gonna use the next year to grow it out again 😦 I think I haven’t cut my hair since August or something, the other time. LET IT BE THE SAME THIS YEAR, I’LL CUT MY HAIR NEXT YEAR AUGUST HAHAHA.

Today’s school was (N) screwed up Physics test sigh. Nevermind at least there are no more tests for this week- and Math’s postponed to Tuesday 😛

And woke up like 50 minutes late today 😦 Rushed to take the MRT, thank god I wasn’t late because I usually wake up much earlier. Sigh so hard to adapt to the life of not having a car to send me to school now- WHY DID MY PARENTS GO OVERSEAS AT SUCH A CRUCIAL PERIOD OF TIME D:

All the bestttt. And it’s alright larh 🙂 I’m used to it lolol. DNT WORRY~

POP tomorrow

Woah to kick that off is really impossible. And furthermore, the wrong time. Not like I have a choice either. Sian what exactly happened again hai.

But sigh I was just thinking.

Tomorrow
is Passing Out Parade already -.- It’s so freaking fast.

Just a while ago weren’t we just falling in outside the container classroom? Nah, don’t even call it fall in. They just arranged us in threes. And my, what’s with all the sad people who were thrown to NCC like me? 🙂 Everyone didn’t seem happy.. Seriously!

Sitting in the container classroom listening to the talk, trying on our No.3 and No.4 uniforms for the first time. The awesome talk by Maam Feei and Sgt Shirleen- oh god, why are my seniors so chio.

And look what now we’re taking over the unit? This is too fast, I can’t accept it omg.

Will write more on Monday.. later write too much no more feelings liao 😦

Test week

Somehow blogging during this really tiring period brings me hope.. and I guess some consolation? I feel a lot better after posting stuff actually. Can’t talk to my siblings at home coz they’re gonna laugh at my state and go like

“I now also very stressed!” or…
“wah my secondary school stress about thinking what to spend my time on”

…. how sensitive to my feelings -_-

Anyway my confidence boosted doing the revision paper that Ms Loh gave out but when I looked at questions on assessment books I totally. OMG. Haven’t memorise this, haven’t memorise that. Then I get really scared… and I haven’t read up on Air 😦 Gotta chiong memorise my notes, do my revision papers already. Thanks Kim Yao for your QA paper btw 😛 Feels lika pro when the flowchart came out in my class quiz today hahaha!

But no matter what I must complete revision by today ahh.. around 6 more hours for Chem for today I guess. Hopefully I can complete-

Realised I’ve never been so hardworking for test week- at most it was exam period. I guess the horrible grades (written at the top of my computer- the wall) “6/10, 16/30, 5/12, REDO ASSIGNMENT” are scaring me quite a bit. Useful anyway, I can’t afford to let my grades slip anymore. And Chem is one of the only things I understand nowadays. How can I not work harder for it?

Characterised by horrible face conditions anyway >,< My pores are widening like crazy and I have a pimple on my cheek now ._. Oh god, please let it be gone by National Day -.- I don't want to go around taking pictures with a horrible face LOL.

Okay now there’s a lot of work waiting for me- and I have no time to finish something up… But I’ll be free by National Day I guess. Or perhaps I should spend that weekend catching up on my Math and Physics. Been pushing it aside lately due to the 4 tests on Friday. And honestly I hope I don’t have to bring the Part As to HQ on Friday for Trainfire -_- I might very well fall asleep in front of them oh god. And somemore must miss my 4 tests… woah -_- plz nooo 😦

Timetable for the day: PE, Recess, Physics, SCS (got test), Chinese (got test), Chem (got test), lunch, Lang Arts (got test). Ha I bet no one’s going to go for recess/lunch that day -_-

Ooh look it’s 7.20pm, time to comb my hair and start on my revision~ Ha mugger1996 activated now!