Feeling like a dog recently

Lying on my bed now as I’m typing this, sounds quite comfortable actually. But the very reason why I have to do this is simply because my computer of 5 years is dead -_- and I have no other sources to use… Besides my snail laptop which is even slower than my phone.

So yup, here I am on my phone and disturbing my maid and sister by jamming my keys loudly when they’re sleeping soundly beside me.

Recently I’ve been feeling extremely lifeless, especially now that my computer is dead. I don’t even want to log on to Facebook with my phone anymore, because it’s simply too boring. I’ve totally cut myself off from most social networks just to study.

But seriously why am I working so hard? Part of it is actually attributed to my own pride. I honestly value competitiveness. It’s definitely not just about personal achievement. Isn’t that the reason why I’m so influenced by peer pressure? I probably became afraid receiving 15/40 and 14/30, when other people around me were scoring As. I can’t be the worst. I can’t let that happen again. But it’s so mindblowing…

But at the end I know all my efforts will pay off…. I hope? Especially for Physics. Whenever I encounter a Moments question my head seems to just blow and…. Blank out. And the feeling I get once again is like “I understood this question just now but what the heck is this again?!”

Sigh Physics. But it’s not like I can regret at this juncture.

But of course, positivity ftw. When I finally solve a Trigo question after so long, and when I calculate retarded things like tension correctly, you can actually see me screaming to my paper 😀 because it hardly happens! Too over-reliant on answer key and solutions that I forgot how it is like to do something without knowing the answers…

And not forgetting, people in my life 😀 all the awesome people in my life. My true friends, you guys are the besttt 😉 sometimes I feel so blessed heh why am I so lucky.

…But midway through studying ill just think how much my life sucks. Sigh. Ironical much.

Ooh wow this is quite a long post I made with my phone. Till then ~ I don’t know when I’ll have the patience to create another blog post with my phone again.


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