Monthly Archives: October 2013

Smart

I like to engage in unnecessary discussions/reflections in my head, especially when I’m dealing with bores such as PW and… Chinese (actually Chinese ain’t that much of a bore if you’re retaking it voluntarily, there seems to be quite a bit of drive in me to do better this time).

What makes a person smart?

There are several ways to look at the word smart. Street smart, study smart (something I wish I could do easily), or just… damn smart. When the word “smart” appears, the same few names occur to me… what did their parents feed them when they were young why are their brains so well-developed did they attend brain tuition when they were young were they breastfed did I forget to eat fish or peanuts??????

Sometimes I choose to attribute it to my lack of brain tuition maybe??? But thank god my parents didn’t put me through such torture at such a young age. I think having enrichment classes since young (Chinese at 5 what the heck) is already enough thank you very much LOL.

Over the course of my secondary school years I think it was always really easy to agree with Thomas Edison (something I need to memorise for Chinese 例子s) “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration”.

Everything just materialises with hard work when you’re younger, you could easily spot the same questions appearing over and over again. It was difficult as you were going through it, but now that I look back, would I be those geniuses if I actually put in more hard work…? Like what I do now…?

Everyone has been mugging so damn hard this entire year, with the exception of the smart few of course. I mean, they don’t even need to mug much to attain satisfactory results as compared to the slower rest. But it’s the smart few doing well. Those who are already naturally smart (who are going to grow up defying Scientific theories) and those who can study smart. Just to clarify, I haven’t done badly for the year (to me at least, not to my Mum who was utterly shocked that As no longer appear on Ng Hui Ping’s report card), but I’d just like to express my dissent on how people can effortlessly do well while I have to painfully toil for two months or more for FOUR SUBJECTS, and yet unable to achieve equally stellar results.

Let’s not forget how Chemistry was the only subject I arranged weekly consultations for- and got the shock of my life when I opened the paper. To put it simply I was writing nonsense page after page. Who the hell writes “settle on the bed of the ocean as sedimentary rocks” in a bloody Chemistry paper??? Till now I can’t be sure if I was trolling the paper, or I had no idea what else I could write.

Ok end of ranting time to suck it up and be an average student!!! I am nowhere near ready for Year 6, I don’t think I could undertake another year of stress… with effort coming to naught again and again 😦 I have given up on my wildest dreams of obtaining straight As, this damned coveted achievement. I just hope I’d be able to enroll in a university course I like next time, not pleading every 11:11 to gain acceptance into a university.

Fund-raising

I have never done fund-raising before, not even anything close like flag day. I always thought that those VIA opportunities were really pointless and they were just easy pathways to VIA hours.

So definitely, it’s the first time I am really reaching out to everyone to raise funds for the Cambodia trip I’d be going on at the end of the year- and the responses to my pleas have been making me so touched 🙂

“I mail $10 first to you want? Pay first shirt later la :)”
“How can I pass the money to you?” (DIDN’T EVEN ASK ABOUT THE SHIRT)
“I’ll buy 5 shirts, the other 4 you can either give to the kiddos, or treat it as 1 shirt for $50” (omg)
“It’s for fundraising right? Then can I get 3 shirts?”
“I don’t mind donating more if you tell me where my money is going!”
“Ok I helped you get some orders too”
“K” (FOR THE FIRST TIME K SOUNDS SO EXCELLENT)

I’m so happy tonight (sounds like a woman in love oops), I’ve never felt so at peace with the world before, feeling that the world is full of great things that have yet to happen hehe.

Thank you everyone for the help, I really really appreciate it. All of us do, in fact. Thank you for the heart, for the passion in serving the less fortunate. 🙂

Fighting deadlines during the holidays

Most of the blog posts in my WordPress Reader says the very same thing- but I’m gonna say it again: WE FINALLY SUBMITTED WR!!!

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PW group excluding Jacqueline who isn’t in the picture 😦

Honestly, I don’t feel very very satisfied- ok sure I am, but submitting my PI/EOM was very much more enthralling HAHA. Probably because GPP was already sort of a skeleton of our WR, and we didn’t have to work from scratch.

BUT I’M STILL HAPPY cause at least half of PW is over!!! 🙂 I can’t believe the inspiration for my topic started from a random pop-up/advertisement of an online dating site while I was surfing the net… which has brought me/my group so far HAHA.

I guess I got really unlucky since my OP falls on Nov 5 (i.e. I&R on Nov 6) AND I’ve got HCL on Nov 6 too 😦 Gotta be fighting those deadlines very much boo. I’ve been working pretty hard for HCL (I can work harder though), but it ticks/frightens me how I can no longer answer questions that I was able to the year before (eg. 综合填空 correct last year, wrong this year). An older brain = a lousier brain???

Ok I just frightened myself more by writing this, I shall go do some Chinese before working on OP slides.

I collected my pay yesterday! In a way, while it isn’t my first work experience, I’ve actually learnt a lot from this humbling experience. Unlike my previous stint at the child care (June 2012), I’ve had to work with a lot more people and well… a lot more types of people.

I’ve been rather lucky the past few times, being able to work alone once… yes I love working alone, have I mentioned that I’m a really individualistic person? And also I managed to work with a cute guy!!! Yes call me superficial thanks but work gets 1000000000x more enjoyable when you work with an attractive person. You willingly clear plates, you willingly follow instructions. But when you work under someone you don’t find attractive, you’d be thinking “Goodness me who is he to order me around” “You very pro meh” “What the shit are you talking about”

That’s what happened yesterday, I worked with a weirdo omg. I can’t really explain how weird he is in WORDS, but if anyone worked with him they’ll definitely concur with me. I believe this is how fate plays out the fact that “God is fair” 😦 I made a passing comment of “哎哟很恶心leh!” about the concoction of tea and dessert…. and he gave me a lecture on “我们有选择吗?!” “我们要十一点回家就一定要这样!” “为什么你要摆那个臭脸?”

?!?!??!?! Is it my fault that I have a default face that says “I’m gonna punch you if you continue talking”???

Halfway through I walked away in the midst of the conversation cause I was getting really annoyed and I didn’t want to respond HAHA. Uh oh that’s terrible of me- showing attitude at work so quickly HAHA. I guess my Dad was right when he said that I’m a prideful person oops. I honestly hate getting to know people all over again, I’m just comfortable with familiarity.

On the other hand I guess I’ve been lucky enough to work with different types of people, I’ve learnt a lot about good or sucky leaders / how to hold in your angst while getting lectured or scolded by a old woman / how to deal with working partners that you do not really fancy / how to appear busy when you’re free / how to secretly eat leftovers.

This experience makes me want to study harder, like I said the previous time. AND I WILL 🙂

//By the way at least 3 people have told me that I look like a person who does a lot of housework- well that’s definitely a compliment and Hanlin even said I look like a 贤妻良母 HAHAHA unfortunately I don’t even know how to cook 😦 This is a terrible confession on my part but I don’t even wash my own dishes HAHA.

OK BUT AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO… right. So when my maid leaves sooner or later, I won’t be at a total loss.

Disgruntled

I’m slowly neglecting this haven of mine, along with many others (Twitter/Tumblr?). I guess at times I do hate how public this page is, and the trouble I’ll get into if I post up something controversial (ahem demerit point). But I can’t bring myself to private this as well, I think my readership will just reduce to 1- me HAHAHA.

I’ve been so busy with WR these days, while my friends from other schools are fussing over “HOW TO START ON I&R”/”OP script is simply too long urgh”/”Mum gave me a box to protect my WR” on Twitter… while I wonder HOW ON EARTH did we manage such a high distinction rate in RV the past years…? I can’t help but wonder whether it is our batch disappointing the school with our results time after time. “Worst Promo results in history”/”Your batch is smart but all of you are plain lazy” (really? on a scale of 1-10 tell me how lazy I was)/”The entire PW comm is worried, only the students are not” (wow!) I think we ought to thank the school sometimes, for coming up with innovative ways to insult us again and again.

Oh yes, we’re still at WR of course. I’ve never looked at my report with so much… BORE before. 密密麻麻的字改了一次又一次,不累吗?????

Thankful for my PW group though. At least it’s a calm and peaceful environment during discussions. It just surprises me how someone with such high IQ can have such low EQ, especially when dealing with people. I hate people who hurt my friends, so screw off. You’re not as high and mighty as you think you are. I ever thought I was a very individualistic person, but you totally owned me flat.

Oh god I think this is the most I’ll ever release on a public platform, until 367 days later 🙂 So much hate resulting from how much they hurt a close friend of mine.

USS Halloween on Saturday!!!

We entered late because we got the tickets late (result of buying them at discounted prices u g h), so it was really dark by the time we entered! My sister was telling me how I’d die at a club since I can’t see through all the fog and everything. I even stood still in the middle of a haunted house because I couldn’t see ANYTHING and the ghost had to put up his hand to direct me HAHAHA.

Ok that was pretty amusing… and a few ghosts look really good HAHAHA ^_^ There was this freaking girl who looked like Overly Attached Gf… damn good acting please HAHAHA.

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With my siblings, cousin and my brother’s girlfriend!

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Taking pictures in the dark isn’t something my phone can do very well HAHAHA

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Taking a photo on the Transformers ride cause that’s how lame it can get….. for someone seeking for thrill rides and enjoy being thrown off the seat like me, 3D glasses just isn’t it HAHAHA.

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Well, that ghost is actually my sister’s friend HAHAHA so amusing. He was perspiring profusely and crept up behind us when we were looking through the photos, using his ghostly fingers to swipe through the air, indicating to us that he wants to see the photos HAHAHA.

Well honestly I thought USS Halloween was quite waste of a money this year- Battlestar Galactica rides weren’t open (I take it at least 3-4 times each time I go ok HAHAHA), Mummy CLOSED ON US (JUST WHEN WE WERE NEARING THE HEAD OF THE QUEUE OMG), so the only fun ride was Transformers which I’ll never understand why people willingly queue 2 hours for it.

Next day was my Ah Ma’s 90th birthday! So sad that I’m born last/don’t stay with her, she doesn’t remember my name/I can’t speak dialects for nuts. I feel quite upset actually, whenever I listen and I KNOW adults are talking about me, but I can’t understand a single thing omg.

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The best picture I could get on my phone- camera is nowhere in sight HAHAHA.

My family is returning to status quo (like before mid 2011) soon, cause my brother’s going to work and my parents are gonna help again. So here’s to waking up groggily in the morning running to take 99 every day…. oh god can those days scram please I don’t miss you at all 😦

Every cloud has a silver lining

I have never been good with words, what comes out of my mouth often comes off as insensitive, comes off as unintended sarcasm or simply comes off as an indirect insult. That gets me into trouble all the time, but I can’t seem to correct this personality trait of mine. Just today I did something really insensitive and I feel really terrible about it right now.

That’s why I can’t bring myself to cheer anyone up. Especially this time of the year, this period of time. Last week, this week, today, people around me have all been really devastated for different reasons, and all I can do is helplessly watch them cry. I’m a shitty friend when it comes to this- I can listen to you rant about screwed up people and how screwed up they made you feel, but I can’t do anything to help, nor comfort you. It sucks to… feel so helpless.

I have no idea how to cheer you guys up, but I would just like to say that… there’s always a way out of this shithole. Even if you think it’s the end, even if you think you won’t be able to survive this nonsense.

Because 10 years later, these won’t matter anymore. But 10 years later, I’ll still remember you guys for being a part of my life. That’ll never change.

I’ll be there. We’ll always be there. There will always be people there for you.

:’)

Meaning in life

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People that make work slightly more bearable despite overbearing aunties and (some) lazy colleagues 🙂 was extremely lucky on Sunday though, to work with someone so experienced and helpful…. Near my age. Hehe.

Sometimes it sucks to know that it’s gonna be difficult for us to all get together again after we are done and over with RV.

Angsty and sad

So pissed at certain things in life- typed a 1000 word post with lots of vulgarities and angst about ridiculous systems (ahem) which I decided against putting up in the end.

I just hate how you can be put down so easily just as long as they find any flaw with you. It’s like being a celebrity- as long as the media exposes any of your scandals (Edison Chen) or wrongs you committed in the PAST (Ris Low), you’re going down. The only difference here is, you’re not being paid to upkeep your image. And what shit about image is this.

Pisses me so bad. Freak. Nevermind, I think I shall extend that word post to 2000 words instead.

I’m also very upset because of drama…….. in dramas.

Who the hell loses their memory with zero recollection of the things they did in the past/relationships they had in the past/who their fiancee is…
Then has a new relationship with a new girl… (and break new hearts)
Then gets whacked by a bat, gains back his memory and forgets whatever happened between the time he lost his memory and the time he gained it back???

But dramas being dramas I still cry anyway despite its incredulity. LOL. Finished 原来是美男 (Taiwan ver), now watching ^ drama. Hehe. Can I consider this part of a revision for Chinese?? HAHAHA.

Everyday after Promos is a good day, even if there are tutorials/PW nonsense to do 🙂 I can’t even imagine how I’ll feel after A Levels are over!!!