Bye 2013

Rather far behind in doing the Math Revision Package (Part I of lagging behind the other JC2s who mugged through the holidays) but it’s okay I guess….. there will always be some time to spare.

So here are my New Year Resolutions nicely tucked up in a password-protected post on January 1 2013:

I hope I can do well in GCME, particularly H2 Geog.
I hope I can take part in NDP 2013.

– (NCC related)
I hope I can go overseas at least once.
I hope I can stay out of relationships and avoid hurting myself.
I hope I’ll stop crying in the year of 2013.

I hope I won’t get any U grades.
I hope my weight can go down below my peak in the next year.
– (relationship issues for other people, all not accomplished LOL)
I hope I can attend at least one concert in Year 5.
I hope I can still maintain 4H2s in the entire year.
I hope I don’t need to change my school skirt.
I hope I will be generally happy in 2013.

Bolded are those that came true, and oh well, I didn’t manage to accomplish the rest I guess. My weight is record-breaking again.

I must be honest- it hasn’t been a very good year for me. I started facing the repercussions of decisions I made impulsively, ranging from backstabs in conversations with other people to openly insulting/humiliating me on public platforms. It’s only after this entire ordeal that I grew to empathise with people of my plight. To be honest, whatever goes on behind my back doesn’t matter to me, because what matters is that I’m happy. Perhaps I may be happier if that decision wasn’t made, but who will know? The grass is always greener on the other side.

There’s also the free-falling of grades from Term 1, and I had to adjust my own expectations really abruptly. I was safely scoring As and at worst, B4 in Years 3 and 4, so obviously it came as a shock to me when I started getting Ds and Es as my average grades from Term 1. I also came to realise this fact: I’m not a smart person. I don’t know how I managed to breeze past my secondary school years mugging last minute and regurgitating everything I can possibly remember during the tests- but it doesn’t work in Year 5 anymore.

The academic year has been a blur, all year I have been chasing tests after tests to study hard and harder when I fail. I have been really diligent the whole year and it makes me feel really accomplished when I look back on my tutorials and notes to revise for 2014. Ms Candice (PSB teacher/school counsellor) once left us a quote in Year 2: “You do not need to be the best, just be your best.” Since then, I’ve been living by that quote. I have given up on the (nearly) impossible dream to top my studies and have the best grades, but I aim to not leave any regrets in whatever I do. For that, I’m glad that I have worked hard enough in 2013 πŸ™‚ I started 2014 off on a bad note by not finishing my holiday assignments, but that’s fine because I shall use the rest of the year to hopefully correct my folly at the start of the year πŸ˜›

I honestly did not accomplish many things in NCC as I hoped to, most of the times I held myself back from signing up for various courses and events to salvage my failing grades. The main events I helped out for were merely Spec Course Phase 1, ISCEP Inbound and NCC Day Parade. ISCEP Inbound was probably the mark of my NCC life this year, I really enjoyed myself thoroughly and the interaction with the overseas cadets kept me looking forward to every day. I’m thankful that I did not have any reservations about signing up alone as I usually do, because it was truly a wonderful experience that I don’t think I can receive anywhere else. I could sign up for this event only because of the fact that I failed Basic Airborne Course Selections and I’m really really glad about it now. “When one door closes, another opens” is so apt in this case. I also can’t imagine what kind of grades I’d attain if I didn’t have that 2 extra weeks to study for the Common Tests during the June holidays. I do wish to apply again in the future though πŸ™‚

I also took part in many YOLO activities like NTU Bike Rally 2013, Milo Triathlon two days before my Common Tests, and NDP 2013 as an usher that burnt all my Saturdays right before the Promotional Examinations. I’m happy actually, at least these are significant events that mark my year. If not, the whole year will be purely about mugging and I doubt that’ll be memorable 10 years down the road. There’s also Red House Council that burnt up much of my Term 1 and 2 time, but unfortunately we are still lacking very much in spirit as compared to other JCs. Sigh, I do hope that there will be an improvement in the house system in the long run. I do want to see how far RV can go when it comes to school spirit. We spend an entire 6 years in the same school and the same campus, how can our school spirit fare worse than that of other schools?

And for the first time in my life, I worked as a banquet server! Truthfully I didn’t enjoy the job at all, and after collecting my pay I’m certain that I will never work in the F&B industry in the future. sure, that may be too quick a generalisation, but I guess I just don’t like the treatment of workers because of the fact that we are teenagers. The fact that we are greenhorns further supplemented the mistreatment. I wasn’t mistreated much (in fact not at all) but I hated how the managers scolded other people for no reason. It’s like they’re releasing their bottled up angst and it doesn’t even make sense. Thankfully I’m a girl, and being a girl allows me to escape from most of that shit.

I also had the chance to go overseas not once, not twice, but thrice! To Kuantan in March, UK in November and Cambodia in December. I am actually really grateful to my parents for allowing me to go overseas on so many occasions. The incurred costs in total are really high and the only thing I did was to pay off my expenses in UK from what I’ve earned during work πŸ™‚ I don’t think I should elaborate more on how great the overseas trips were because there is an entire blog post for each of the countries I’ve been to, but all 3 trips were really enjoyable due to the fact that we are in Year 5 and there aren’t many restrictions set (eg. Lights out at 11pm just sounds pure stupid now). With my whole heart I thank the teachers who have been on all the trips with us, they have made everyday really enjoyable by understanding the fact that WE NEED A BREAK πŸ™‚

I believe I also mentioned this before, in fact many times, that my parents were hospitalised on various occasions. It sucks so much to know where is Block 1/2/3/4/5/6 at the Singapore General Hospital, when you are not even working at the hospital. My family isn’t poor, but it really sucks to continually chalk up unnecessary medical bills when there are illnesses you know you could have avoided with a proper diet and proper exercise. My Mum’s a stubborn mule to be honest, she refused to listen to our advice everyday and she got into a rather serious trouble with her health. And then there’s my sister who was (mildly?) anorexic last year.

Let’s check out the distinct differences in my family in this entire year, particularly my mother and sister.

P1100099
COC POP 2012 (wow good memories)

IMAG1119
Before flying off to OELP UK 2013.

I guess I’m happy that they ended the year pretty well, both of them are hopefully already healthy and in the pink of health. I hope I will never be subjected to similar medical conditions in the future because even watching it as a bystander is really, really scary. And I hope my family remains healthy, because what the hell is wealth without health, when you spend all your riches paying off your medical bills anyway.

I have also met with many friendship conflicts this year, and while they eventually become forgotten, there’s just the memory that will always be deeply entrenched in your hearts. You can forgive, but you can never forget. Maybe I should thank the heaven and earths for presenting me with friendship conflicts at such an early stage of my life, it’s almost teaching me how to deal with nonsense in the future.

It hasn’t been all that bad with friendships though, I have also become closer to many people this year, particularly my 4G girls. We have been going out rather often and every time I’m with them, I don’t have to worry about my image, sitting gracefully or anything. We laugh at each other’s dressing (but we still attempt to dress up anyway); we joke about everything stupid (including each other); we embarrass one another in public, and I think that’s how we get closer day by day haha. Choosing PCG + Elective History has been the best choice in Year 3, I used to dread being in this class cause it was full of loquacious people but now I’m glad for the noise. It brings me back to life somehow, and it brings me sanity in this school where there’s barely any humanity in people.

I have also become closer to my siblings and cousin! I said the same things last year, but after a year we are still as close, or even closer! We are still going out together rather regularly, taking turns to treat one another to meals and movies. However, my father/brother’s new shop is opening soon and that will mean that we do not get that many chances to go out together anymore. Family dinners and random days out will be rare and become increasingly precious to me now… ah, I shall keep reminding myself of the fact that it’s just in time for the A Level year.

At the end of this post, I would like to thank people who have made a significant impact on my life in 2013. In random order:

Ooi, for being retarded as always yet being able to do assholic Math Questions like it’s 1+2, and always being there as a listening ear despite your retarded replies.
Gong, for accompanying me through my yolo stints like Milo Youth Triathlon/NDP 2013.
Dick, for the occasional dinners and talks that we have (sounds so serious HAHA).
Hanen, for sharing your study materials with me so willingly, particularly for Geog, for it tided me through many of the tests.
Sarah, for the conversations where we bitch/discuss that allow us to remain rather close even until today.
Jae, for the study dates at Starbucks because that actually kept me on a “Starbucks roll” for the rest of the year.
My 4G girls (especially those in 5S: Gracie, JiaWen, Edina), for the random class lunches and weekend nights out where we just laugh our hearts out.
Jiawei and Yixin, for accompanying me to HQ events even when you have little or no involvement (eg. Spec Course POP).
And you, you don’t know who you are, HAHAHA, but thanks for allowing me to spazz about you for the entire year. I have embarrassed myself several times, but truth be told it has been a rather enjoyable stalker journey.

I’m sorry if I’ve missed out anyone who has been equally important this whole year πŸ™‚

And with this I (nervously) welcome 2014. I don’t want to say that I’m ready because I’m definitely not, but I hope I’ll at least try my best and survive this A-Level year well. Make my teachers proud, make my parents proud, and most importantly, make myself proud. I cried out of sadness when I received my PSLE results, I walked home with a tinge of disappointment when I received my HCL O level results, and I don’t wish the same to happen for my A Levels too.

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