You waste the most time

When you have the most time to waste. Guess this was the golden quote that I picked up from the recent school assembly meant to trigger us to work hard or harder.

It’s so ridiculous yet painfully true. In my busiest and most painful days of secondary school, ironically my grades were at its best. Honestly I don’t think the effort I put in then can compare to how much of a mugger I am now, but somehow the sense of urgency back then coupled with wanting to pull off everything simultaneously propelled me to do well in various aspects.

But now I’m losing at life LOL. I’m doing badly in most aspects of my life (emphasis on grades of course), the only thing that I’m still excelling in is my optimism. Pretty sure I haven’t cried for the entire year, that’s a great achievement given that I’m a girl in my final year of tertiary education. Wow.

Lately I’ve been wanting to find some drive to push me ahead for this crazy year, so I’ve been attending all the higher education exhibitions particularly those directing me overseas. Frankly it used to be a very distant dream, it was only heard of in dramas and of the greatest political leaders in our country. While it still is a dream, at least I know it’ll be attainable if I had the riches….

It’ll be nice to bask in another country’s campus life and really break away from this local education system that has stifled me for 12 years. I’m not despising Singapore’s education system per se, it does produce excellent scholars with amazing results. However, who wouldn’t like a new environment which exposes you to so much more? It takes so much effort, though. I’m not from a particularly rich family and hence an overseas education can only be possible if I attain a scholarship and goodness me that’s even more far-fetched than gaining admission to an overseas university.

More so when I am at a total loss of what I want to do in life. There are many courses that I have a keen eye for, but there are little career choices that actually tempt me, or rather that I’ll actually really consider doing in the future. For instance, I attended the Environmental Studies talk at NUS recently, and while the course promises much fun and diversity pertaining to Geographical / Biological studies that I’ll be interested to learn about, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to work in that field in the near future.

Potential courses that I’ve been looking at also include Sociology, Criminology and even Business. But what can I be? A research analyst? A policewoman? Or simply an office lady? While I’m keeping my options open, I’m still waiting for my calling in life. It’s like how some people realise midway through their lives that they want to be a lawyer, or a doctor. But there’s nothing that triggers me at the moment! Even after watching so many Hong Kong dramas that revolves around so many careers (doctor, lawyer, teacher, army, judge, pastry chef, athlete, policeman, forensics, physicist, pilot, engineer, social worker).  Thought of all these examples based on dramas that I’ve caught before. You name it, they have it.

But what I know is that, I wish to do well enough to choose courses that I would like to take, instead of being subjected to appeal conditions against my wishes. In a nutshell, I must do exceedingly well to qualify for everything that I’m interested in, to keep my options open. That’s the only way I won’t regret at the end of the day, right.

And so there… It’s time to work hard, of probably harder. Shall hopefully not waste this March holiday as I always do, let it be a productive study holiday for once, even though RV does not have tests right after the holidays unlike other JCs 🙂

On a sidenote, looking forward to a free Seoul Garden buffet tomorrow hehehe I guess NCC is the only reason I’ll believe that there are actually free lunches in this world 🙂


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