The first and last 2 hours of my day are always spent doing nothing,
Guiltlessly. And right now is the first 2 hours of the day, because I’ll be swimming in the last 2, something I do regularly before the start of any major examination.
It’s scary to think and know that I would be completely defined by my results from this point on- that “6 years in RV boils down to this very exam”; that whether or not I gain admission into the UK schools I’ve applied for (or actually, any university) hinges on my performance for the next 3 weeks; that any shot at a scholarship would be clearly unrealistic if I flunked just any one paper. (I mean flunk.) I’ve been so motivated and driven in 2014 it scares me when I re-look at my entire year, because I only recall myself at Starbucks or in school… Or having my meals at home.
I truly hope what I tell myself every single day will come true, that “dream big, you’ll make it”, “if you don’t have talent, substitute it with your efforts” and “hard work eventually pays off”. If anything, the biggest lessons I’ve learnt this year was not the countless supplemetary lessons I had (and skipped), but to really manage my time effectively. I slack a hell lot, I watch horror movies a few days before my exams, I watch CI two days before my exam, swim right before my exam, and I’m glad I can do it guiltlessly, without waking up the next morning feeling like shit.
I’ve never really battled major examinations very well. I get insomnia (couldn’t sleep until 2am yesterday zzz and it isn’t even the exams yet), I get weird constipation/diarrhoea, and I’m pretty worried it’ll affect me anytime between now and 24th. I’m not completely prepared because I’ll never be, but I’ll hope for the best.
谟事在天，成事在人。I believe the words of my Dad!!! Goodbye while I become an annoying seat hogger! (Sorry Starbucks, just for 22 more days!)