So I died during the 24km march. I survived 12km and 16km well, but 24km was bad because I positioned my admin shoes badly, I died during the first 6km because my field pack’s weight was heavily slanted towards my right, it was so bad I placed my hand on it the entire march because it was hurting my shoulders very badly. It became okay only after countless number of adjustments when everyone was sitting down. I got blisters after the 15km mark which I’ve never gotten before on all my previous route marches. I nosebled three times during the march: once on the long airport route, once at ECP, once on the final 6km when the Singapore Flyer was in sight.
On board my KE641 while waiting for the plane to take off I was reflecting on everything I had done wrong during the march. And I felt really bad about myself- what made my exhaustion rule over my head, that I was so freaking lazy to help anyone and everyone. I allowed myself to be treated like a princess, allowed my blisters to kill me, allowed my breathlessness to get annoyed at everything. I will always keep this in mind from now on- mind over body. Everyone’s tired, suck it up and stop giving yourself stupid excuses like your height or your short legs and how you have to take 10000 strides more than anyone. Why not I work a little harder to make up for that shortfall, instead of complaining how unfair life is. Physical fitness can’t be helped, but combat fitness is different, and definitely works in our favour a lot more.
But overall really glad that I survived it all, that I didn’t fall out (in fact, none of us girls did). That I could proudly shed tears in happiness on two occasions that morning, when I finally got up the Helix Bridge and realised how freaking near we were to the floating platform (I was so embarrassed about tearing then I pretended to blow my nose from my sinus), and when they said “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, … … OUR TRAINED SOLDIERS”. I was tearing so hard because I really felt that I’ve deserved all these feelings of pride. 😉
That moment of ecstasy… Everything was worth it.
Photos of the main people who got me through the 9 weeks- my family, and my dearest section.
I can’t be more thankful of my section- I knew it from Day 1. I’ve always knew that too many girls can’t exist together (too much experience from NCC), and this was the very reason why I really liked my section. We were small, and we were really close-knitted. It was an unspoken language on the table everyday: you knew which food belonged to who, but you would just take it anyway. On the table = free for all. You knew the unspoken rules about little things we shouldn’t do, (or shouldn’t have done), or simply how we needed to be considerate and not hang our hangers on each other’s beds. Or how we should never turn on the lights first thing in the morning because many of us were light sleepers. Or how we were to wait as a section to fall in together, because what’s the point of falling in early first? We were still going to be late as a whole anyway. Those 9 weeks taught me a lot about team work and how team dynamics could only be strong if all of us believed in it.
And sure I did. I can’t help but to miss our section so so so so much. This was a real team. This was the dream team. My dream team 😥 It’s so upsetting that I will hardly get to see my sectionmates ever again now that I’m moving over to MIDS tonight (and I haven’t even touched on how much I love Delta and their culture).
And of course to my family. For treating me llao llao even though I’m receiving regular pay, for sending me off on the car all the way to Pasir Ris Bus Interchange even though there’s no need to, for packing my field pack and unpacking my field pack for me. LOL.
OCS Family Day was 3 days ago (SERIOUSLY???) and I guess it merely signifies the start to an extremely long journey. Officership will never be easy, but I think I’m ready to embark on this. I’m ready to work harder than ever for what I think I want. 🙂 May I find myself.