Unfamiliarity in familiarity

I’m siting at Starbucks now, with a laptop, two pieces of white A4 paper I stole from the printer, the Pilot B2P pen which has accompanied me since 2011 and the familiar cup of grande Mocha frappucino.

But everything’s different. I can barely sit myself down to produce a detailed essay plan despite already having done readings- what happened to the days when I wrote 4 to 8 essays on end every single day at Starbucks? Finished with one? Start on the next essay plan. Finished all the essays in the tutorials? Time to do a timed General Paper comprehension paper. Finished the comprehension, marked them and did corrections, and it’s still 5pm? Time to get started on a 3-hour Math paper. Or, time to go home for a swim before working on another Math paper. What happened to the days when I fought all my morning grogginess, afternoon fatigue, fevers, to march down to Fusionopolis anyway because it was not worth giving up even a single day of revision?

What happened to the motivation I once had to complete every single assignment and follow my personal prescribed routine?

Honestly I’m terribly afraid that I’ll never recover the drive ever again.

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