It’s been a while since I have stayed up this late but today seems perfect to pen down these thoughts — I’m hearing thunder and heavy raindrops, sounds that I once considered unique to Singapore.
Our most recent Skype date this afternoon, when we watched Yes or No (2010), the 25th movie we have watched together. It always is a comfort to hear your ridiculous comments and… how dumb you sound sometimes. 🙂
I wish I could say that I am totally doing this shit well and right, but on some days I cope less well than other days and I don’t know how I’ll ever get through the months. How do I explain this emptiness — you are always there for me, yet I know you will never be there…? I never thought myself to be someone who values physical presence or physical touch so much, but being human you probably covet things you cannot get. On some days I really wish I could hug you tightly, like that day when I realised it was one of our last dates together before I depart for London. Or walk towards you smiling like an overly attached girlfriend because I hadn’t seen you for that weekend. I wish that I could bicker over silly things with you in real, instead of only seeing those priceless facial expressions over Skype. I wish I could whine about anything and everything and seeing you helpless as usual. I wish I could complain and mock you about your sweaty palms. I wish I could steal your large Koi ice cream milk tea. I wish I could share a tub of green tea ice-cream with you. I wish I could get annoyed at you replying to work texts all the time.
😥 Does it ever get easier?